• The Aristocrats
    The Aristocrats
    Paul Provenza
    ★★★☆☆
    Bob Sagat is a dirty fucker.

    I also tell one mean Aristocrats joke. I could post it here, but it'd prolly violate a treaty, red flag me as both a pedophile AND a terrorist; involve me in a class action beastiality suit, and just be generally vile.

    But I'll be damned if me telling it in person won't get you to laugh at how horrible it is.
    a dvd added by garside's avatar garside on Aug 19, 2006 | 4 users.
  • Serenity (Widescreen Edition)
    Serenity (Widescreen Edition)
    Joss Whedon
    ★★★★★
    An awesome ending to an awesome show. Though, after watching the show straight (in the period of like 2 days, and loving it. Hardcore) the movie seemed a bit off. As in, the characters I knew and loved seemed a bit foreign in the beginning, and I don't know why.

    But after a few scenes, it cleaned up all nice like for me, so I gotta give it an "awesome, for amazing"
    a dvd added by garside's avatar garside on Aug 19, 2006 | 35 users.
  • From Hell (Widescreen Edition)
    From Hell (Widescreen Edition)
    Albert Hughes
    ★★★★
    Oh snap. Jack Teh Ripper. This was an actually decent twist. And Johnny did Absinthe.

    He also "Chased the Dragon", if you know what I mean. (Pot)

    Also, it had decent literary quotes littered through it, and was, from what I learned through college, a pretty accurate representation of london in those days.

    So bravo, Johnny, another creepy pic under your belt.
    a dvd added by garside's avatar garside on Aug 18, 2006 | 3 users.
  • Swordfish [HD DVD]
    Swordfish [HD DVD]
    Dominic Sena
    ★★★☆☆
    Yea, alright, it started off with an anti-personnel pinball mine going off.

    And the plot was pretty solid in a mindthriller, the acting was decent, and I'm sure more than a few copies were broken at the blockbuster right around when Halle has her "tasteful nudity scene".

    And it was fuckin 5 bucks at Walmart.

    I'll take that.
    a dvd added by garside's avatar garside on Aug 18, 2006 | 1 user.
  • The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King (Platinum Series Special Extended Edition)
    The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King (Platinum Series Special Extended Edition)
    Peter Jackson
    ★★★★
    Return of the King.

    Special Extended edition, with 15 extra minutes of Gollum eating a fish.

    Seriously, some of the shit put in the movies should have been cut out. Like... where they made me watch Aragorn walk through the caves to face the king of the dead.

    Which could have been replaced with good exposition stuff, like the whole Boromir/Faramir sideline plot. That shit ruled.

    Also, there were 20 endings. And none were as good as the shire on fire.

    Because it rhymes, you see.

    Goddamn Peter Jackson, you had me at "One Ring".

    Star Wars, though, still better.

    It did have a pretty awesome battle scene, though, so it gets 4 stars. Though it doesn't get 5.

    Helms Deep? Yea, that'll get 5, despite my problems with the heros of it.
    a dvd added by garside's avatar garside on Aug 18, 2006 | 39 users.
  • First Blood
    First Blood
    Ted Kotcheff
    ★★★★
    Ohmanohmanohmanohman.

    Rocky with a knife.

    And arrows that blow shit up.

    This is one of those amazing, "I don't like to think, I want to watch something die" kinda movies. It's a good flick, because it shows a one man murder machine.

    Plus, without this, we wouldn't have references to SOOO many things in popular culture.

    And fuck, man, that shit's crutch.
    a dvd added by garside's avatar garside on Aug 18, 2006 | 1 user.
  • The Matador (Widescreen Edition)
    The Matador (Widescreen Edition)
    Richard Shepard
    ★★★★
    It was a decent flick about killin. My friend didn't much care for it, because there wasn't enough killin in it. But I thought it was good.

    It was Pierce running around with Greg. Pierce was being funny, and Greg was being serious. And lame. But there was feeling in it, and that made it okay.
    a dvd added by garside's avatar garside on Aug 18, 2006 | 3 users.
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